I hope you've enjoyed the last year of fantasy TOTP line-ups, and in the real world I hope you also enjoyed the Christmas and New Year editions of actual, for real Top of the Pops. I know I did. Stars of the show for me were Stormzy, Starley's stylist, Clean Bandit's stand-in vocalist, Duke Dumont for going into a remix at the end, and two people who were head and shoulders above the rest. Rita Ora's performance of Anywhere was a true TOTP classic, and Clara Amfo did such an incredible job presenting that Fearne (I'm sorry to say) looked a bit redundant.
Anyway, let's run down the fantasy version of the show's most featured artistes for 2017.
In joint ninth place, with nine appearances, we have Stormzy. Everyone knows the grime master had a great year so it's been good to see him on TOTP, firmly in the mainstream. He appeared with three of his own grime tracks, as a featured rapper with Little Mix, and of course with MNEK on his stop-you-in-your-tracks gospel number towards the end of the year.
Also joint ninth with nine appearances is James Arthur. 2016 was his big comeback year but he kept the momentum going throughout 2017: Say You Won't Let Go still had some chart stamina at the start of the year, then there was his feature with Rudimental, and another big hit with his own Naked, dubious image or not, to round things off.
And also joint ninth with nine appearances is ZAYN. 2017 wasn't as high profile for him as the year before, but he had big hits alongside PARTYNEXTDOOR, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Sia. Not bad and clearly still going in the right direction.
Joint sixth with ten appearances is Rag 'n' Bone Man. Another member of the class of 2016, the singing Steptoe maintained his popularity and his hits Skin and Human were both good for multiple appearances, often in back-to-back weeks.
Also sixth with ten appearances are friends of the show Clean Bandit. Symphony and I Miss You were both big chart hits; the latter took a while to climb to the upper reaches but got there in the end. Their 2016 behemoth Rockabye chipped in a couple of appearances too.
And also joint sixth with ten appearances is Rita Ora. We heard nothing from Rita for the first five months of the year, but she's made up for lost time with a very successful album campaign. Your Song, Anywhere and the Avicii collaboration Lonely Together have all been big hits with a lot of staying power.
In fifth place with twelve appearances are Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee. All those appearances are of course for the same song, Despacito, which had a memorable run at number 1 for much of the year. Some of those appearances would have been showings of the video rather than in the studio, but that's the perk of being number 1.
In fourth place with thirteen appearances is Dua Lipa. Not everyone would have expected the success the Star Warsily named Dua has achieved, but everyone seems to be pleased to see her ascent to pop's top tier. New Rules was the big breakthrough, but Scared To Be Lonely, Be The One and No Lie made her a TOTP regular even before that.
In third place with sixteen appearances are friends of the show Little Mix. Britain's top pop group built on a big 2016 to do even better last year, appearing on no fewer than six of their own songs (and always being ready for a guest spot on someone else's as well).
In second place with seventeen appearances is Camila Cabello. That probably would have been enough to make her number 1 in a normal year, but 2017's unstoppable force couldn't be resisted. None the less, Cabello's 2017 looked a lot like Dua Lipa's only even more wildly successful: starting out as a mid-ranking singer, she picked up a lot of appearances with various mid-level hits before breaking through near the end of the year with a biggie. Well done to her!
And in first place with 24 appearances (being on almost every other week, in other words), needless to say, is Ed Sheeran. Love him or not, 2017 belonged to him. He had the biggest album, the most singles, the Christmas number 1, and just about every other conceivable chart honour. So all hail King Ed.
Also joint ninth with nine appearances is James Arthur. 2016 was his big comeback year but he kept the momentum going throughout 2017: Say You Won't Let Go still had some chart stamina at the start of the year, then there was his feature with Rudimental, and another big hit with his own Naked, dubious image or not, to round things off.
And also joint ninth with nine appearances is ZAYN. 2017 wasn't as high profile for him as the year before, but he had big hits alongside PARTYNEXTDOOR, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Sia. Not bad and clearly still going in the right direction.
Joint sixth with ten appearances is Rag 'n' Bone Man. Another member of the class of 2016, the singing Steptoe maintained his popularity and his hits Skin and Human were both good for multiple appearances, often in back-to-back weeks.
Also sixth with ten appearances are friends of the show Clean Bandit. Symphony and I Miss You were both big chart hits; the latter took a while to climb to the upper reaches but got there in the end. Their 2016 behemoth Rockabye chipped in a couple of appearances too.
And also joint sixth with ten appearances is Rita Ora. We heard nothing from Rita for the first five months of the year, but she's made up for lost time with a very successful album campaign. Your Song, Anywhere and the Avicii collaboration Lonely Together have all been big hits with a lot of staying power.
In fifth place with twelve appearances are Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee. All those appearances are of course for the same song, Despacito, which had a memorable run at number 1 for much of the year. Some of those appearances would have been showings of the video rather than in the studio, but that's the perk of being number 1.
In fourth place with thirteen appearances is Dua Lipa. Not everyone would have expected the success the Star Warsily named Dua has achieved, but everyone seems to be pleased to see her ascent to pop's top tier. New Rules was the big breakthrough, but Scared To Be Lonely, Be The One and No Lie made her a TOTP regular even before that.
In third place with sixteen appearances are friends of the show Little Mix. Britain's top pop group built on a big 2016 to do even better last year, appearing on no fewer than six of their own songs (and always being ready for a guest spot on someone else's as well).
In second place with seventeen appearances is Camila Cabello. That probably would have been enough to make her number 1 in a normal year, but 2017's unstoppable force couldn't be resisted. None the less, Cabello's 2017 looked a lot like Dua Lipa's only even more wildly successful: starting out as a mid-ranking singer, she picked up a lot of appearances with various mid-level hits before breaking through near the end of the year with a biggie. Well done to her!
And in first place with 24 appearances (being on almost every other week, in other words), needless to say, is Ed Sheeran. Love him or not, 2017 belonged to him. He had the biggest album, the most singles, the Christmas number 1, and just about every other conceivable chart honour. So all hail King Ed.
Finally let's take a look at the updated all-time Fantasy TOTP top appearers:
1 Ed Sheeran (56)
2 Little Mix (40)
3 Clean Bandit (33)
4 Sam Smith (26)
= Ellie Goulding (26)
6 Calvin Harris (25)
= Justin Bieber (25)
= Coldplay (25)
9 Zara Larsson (24)
= Ariana Grande (24)
= Major Lazer (24)
12 One Direction (22)
13 Rita Ora (21)
= Jess Glynne (21)
15 Jason Derulo (20)
= Drake (20)
17 Dua Lipa (19)
= Tinie Tempah (19)
19 Chainsmokers (18)
= The Weeknd (18)
2 Little Mix (40)
3 Clean Bandit (33)
4 Sam Smith (26)
= Ellie Goulding (26)
6 Calvin Harris (25)
= Justin Bieber (25)
= Coldplay (25)
9 Zara Larsson (24)
= Ariana Grande (24)
= Major Lazer (24)
12 One Direction (22)
13 Rita Ora (21)
= Jess Glynne (21)
15 Jason Derulo (20)
= Drake (20)
17 Dua Lipa (19)
= Tinie Tempah (19)
19 Chainsmokers (18)
= The Weeknd (18)
It looks like Ed will be top for a very long time, barring another phenomenon. One Direction hold steady in twelfth despite not appearing at all in 2017, and of course would be a lot higher if you added up all their solo careers. Camila Cabello didn't do quite enough to make the top 20 in her first year, but will surely be there in 2018.
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