It's time once again to take a look at this year's TOTP mainstays, but first, also traditionally, some thoughts on the real-life Top of the Pops specials for Christmas and New Year.
Now there were some good performances on these shows of course, but I'm sorry to say that for the first time, in general, I was a bit disappointed. Regular Fantasy TOTP-heads will know the big chart stories this year: the breakthrough of British urban music by artists like Aitch, J Hus, Young T and Bugsey, and Dave; a relatively small number of very long-running number 1s by Ariana Grande, Tones & I, Lewis Capaldi, Ed Sheeran and others; and the discovery of some exciting new artists, most notably Billy Eilish.
None of that appeared on the programmes! Britrap was limited to Stormzy (not a studio performance, and a track from 2018) and AJ Tracey (admittedly great with an inspired live vocal from Jorja Smith, but a bit of a garage throwback compared to most of the other options). There was no Dave, Aitch, Fredo, er, D-Block Europe or any of that.
The show was also lacking in international stars - maybe not entirely the producers' fault, but they've done better in previous years - and failed to show many of the truly big songs of the year. Arguably Capaldi was the only one, maybe Mabel as well, but if you look at the 40 biggest songs of last year very few were represented.
Now admittedly the artists who did appear were generally on their game. I was especially pleased to see that most of the dance DJs seemed happy to be there and to be approaching the show in the spirit in which it's intended. But the selections were way off: even if you assume that none of the British urban artists could be persuaded to turn up, and all the international stars were busy, there were some inexplicable selections, broadly in three categories.
The Blossoms problem: TOTP seems overly keen to engineer genre representation by featuring indie-type bands who have been nowhere near the chart. Blossoms have literally never had a top 75 track in 2019 or any other year. So why do they get featured? There's no need for TOTP to feature this music: if it doesn't chart, it simply isn't a TOTP genre any more than jazz, classical, celtic moods or any of the other many genres that exist independently of what's popular. If they must have genre diversity, how about 5 Seconds of Summer? They had hits in 2019, and the show featured no boy bands. How about Lizzo for some throwback RnB? How about some electropop from Chvrches, who had their biggest ever hit?
The Jack Savoretti problem: It seems like the producers are keen to give the Christmas audience something Radio 2 friendly. But again, if it hasn't been a singles hit, how popular can it be? For me, the joy of TOTP is the seemingly random, uncurated nature of what the chart throws up. Once you start curating, you make decisions based on a single person or small group of people's assumptions, and you're much less likely to end up with something good.
The Celeste problem: Featuring new artists in an attempt to appear cool. Sorry, TOTP can never be cool, because the chart is voted for by the entire public, who can never be cool by definition. Particularly silly this year since the chart is less followed than ever and many of the acts who did have actual hits remain fairly unknown to most people and could have benefited from the exposure. Lauv, Arizona Zerva, Normani, the British urban contingent... it's a long list.
Overall, well done to the performers, to Clara Amfo, and to the BBC for keeping the show going. But let's hope next year looks more like a genuine Best Charting Acts Of 2020 than whatever this was.
Enough about that. Now it's time to give you what you've tuned in for, get back to fantasy land, and count down the ten most featured TOTP artistes of the year.
In joint tenth place with ten appearances is Jax Jones. Another great year for him, charting behind several different featured vocalists with an endless stream of reliably popular tracks. And always keen to come to the TOTP stage.
Also in joint tenth place with ten appearances is AJ Tracey. It's a breakthrough year for him, mainly thanks to the song of the year Ladbroke Grove, but also through features on various tracks by his British urban peers.
And also in joint tenth place is Post Malone. Streaming megastar, would have been higher if he was available every time he was eligible to be on the show.
In ninth place with eleven appearances is Aitch. Completely new to the show and one of the stars riding the wave of Britrap's chart explosion, Aitch has appeared on several tracks, both as lead and featured artist.
In joint sixth place with twelve appearances is Burna Boy. Admittedly a bit of a pointless answer, Burna Boy was featured repeatedly on tracks by Stormzy and others, making him a reliable TOTP inclusion, though never as lead artist.
Also in joint sixth place with twelve appearances is Camila Cabello. A reliable friend of the show, Cabello had a smash number one duet with Shawn Mendes as well as hits with Ed Sheeran and on her own.
And also in joint sixth place is Ariana Grande. After a super-hot start, Grande had a relatively quiet second half of the year, but her endless run at number 1 with multiple songs in the early months keeps her well-represented.
In joint fourth place with thirteen appearances is Tones & I. These are all with the same song, but what a song. Possibly a record-breaking run at number 1 for a debut single. It'll be interesting to see what 2020 holds.
Also in joint fourth place with thirteen appearances is Dave. One of the cream of the Britrap crop, Dave set the example to Aitch and the rest by having multiple hits of his own and featuring on others' tracks as well. His hits tend to be very persistent, hanging on the top 20 for months at a time.
In third place with fourteen appearances is Stormzy. The big three have been more or less untouchable this year. Stormzy had two number 1 hits and various other tracks and features here and there. Well deserved.
In second place with nineteen appearances is Ed Sheeran. King Ed's hitmaking ability remains unmatched; everything he does seems to zoom to the top of the chart and stay there more or less until he releases something else. It'll be years before anyone can match his overall TOTP appearance count.
And in first place with twenty-one appearances is Lewis Capaldi. Ed didn't have it all his own way, though. It's hard to believe now that up to the end of 2018, Lewis Capaldi had barely charted. 2019 has been an enormous year for him, with a massive number 1 and several other songs whose chart runs went on and on. Nice guy too.
Also in joint tenth place with ten appearances is AJ Tracey. It's a breakthrough year for him, mainly thanks to the song of the year Ladbroke Grove, but also through features on various tracks by his British urban peers.
And also in joint tenth place is Post Malone. Streaming megastar, would have been higher if he was available every time he was eligible to be on the show.
In ninth place with eleven appearances is Aitch. Completely new to the show and one of the stars riding the wave of Britrap's chart explosion, Aitch has appeared on several tracks, both as lead and featured artist.
In joint sixth place with twelve appearances is Burna Boy. Admittedly a bit of a pointless answer, Burna Boy was featured repeatedly on tracks by Stormzy and others, making him a reliable TOTP inclusion, though never as lead artist.
Also in joint sixth place with twelve appearances is Camila Cabello. A reliable friend of the show, Cabello had a smash number one duet with Shawn Mendes as well as hits with Ed Sheeran and on her own.
And also in joint sixth place is Ariana Grande. After a super-hot start, Grande had a relatively quiet second half of the year, but her endless run at number 1 with multiple songs in the early months keeps her well-represented.
In joint fourth place with thirteen appearances is Tones & I. These are all with the same song, but what a song. Possibly a record-breaking run at number 1 for a debut single. It'll be interesting to see what 2020 holds.
Also in joint fourth place with thirteen appearances is Dave. One of the cream of the Britrap crop, Dave set the example to Aitch and the rest by having multiple hits of his own and featuring on others' tracks as well. His hits tend to be very persistent, hanging on the top 20 for months at a time.
In third place with fourteen appearances is Stormzy. The big three have been more or less untouchable this year. Stormzy had two number 1 hits and various other tracks and features here and there. Well deserved.
In second place with nineteen appearances is Ed Sheeran. King Ed's hitmaking ability remains unmatched; everything he does seems to zoom to the top of the chart and stay there more or less until he releases something else. It'll be years before anyone can match his overall TOTP appearance count.
And in first place with twenty-one appearances is Lewis Capaldi. Ed didn't have it all his own way, though. It's hard to believe now that up to the end of 2018, Lewis Capaldi had barely charted. 2019 has been an enormous year for him, with a massive number 1 and several other songs whose chart runs went on and on. Nice guy too.
And now let's look at the all-time Fantasy TOTP top appearers:
1 Ed Sheeran (79)
2 Little Mix (49)
3 Ariana Grande (47)
4 Dua Lipa (40)
= Calvin Harris (40)
6 Clean Bandit (39)
= Drake (39)
8 Sam Smith (37)
9 Rita Ora (35)
10 Jess Glynne (34)
== Camila Cabello (34)
12 George Ezra (33)
== Ellie Goulding (33)
14 Justin Bieber (30)
15 Zara Larsson (29)
16 Khalid (28)
17 Stormzy (27)
18 Coldplay (26)
19 Anne-Marie (25)
== Jax Jones (25)
== Shawn Mendes (25)
2 Little Mix (49)
3 Ariana Grande (47)
4 Dua Lipa (40)
= Calvin Harris (40)
6 Clean Bandit (39)
= Drake (39)
8 Sam Smith (37)
9 Rita Ora (35)
10 Jess Glynne (34)
== Camila Cabello (34)
12 George Ezra (33)
== Ellie Goulding (33)
14 Justin Bieber (30)
15 Zara Larsson (29)
16 Khalid (28)
17 Stormzy (27)
18 Coldplay (26)
19 Anne-Marie (25)
== Jax Jones (25)
== Shawn Mendes (25)
Highest new entry here is low-key chart presentee Khalid, who just pips Stormzy. Ariana Grande climbs into the top three, while Clean Bandit, Jess Glynne and others have had quiet years and dropped down. Tinie Tempah, after being featured every year since 2013, didn't appear at all. Maybe he'll be back in 2020?
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